xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize
