dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize