We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
