I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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