new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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