He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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