Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I am one with the molecules
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
