If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize