I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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