no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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