I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
