can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
handjob tips. give me some.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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