Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
