The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
