You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
