there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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