Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
