Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
did i just pee glitter
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
