OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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