She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Drunk is not a location!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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