do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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