Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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