Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
