yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
