a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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