Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
