Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
sarcasm needs its own font
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
