i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize