Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
