I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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