Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
