watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
