Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize