so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
