She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
