well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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