Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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