i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
