Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize