if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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