She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize