Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize