Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
