My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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