hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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