Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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