I hate all girls vehemently.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
