Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
