I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
