I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
