He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
