With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
