don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
