More tranny stories later!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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