Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
