just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Randomize
