it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
