You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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