Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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