Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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